


Not anymore

by TheForrestofFanfic



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-01
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-18 13:43:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4708088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheForrestofFanfic/pseuds/TheForrestofFanfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mithian is invited to Merlin's anniversary of his birth and she gets to know him a little better than she had first planned to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Not anymore

_"Telepathy"_

"Normal speech"

* * *

 

She had arrived in Camelot not an hour ago in her royal carriage. Fit for a queen they said to her but she didn’t feel like one. Her father had died a month ago and her time of grief was cut short mostly due to her sense of duty to her people and pressuring from the council and the noble gossip in the castle of Nemeth.

  
Luckily, Queen Gwen had visited Nemeth two weeks in to her rule to see how she was coping with being the sovereign of Nemeth. Mithian hadn’t said anything but instead gestured for Gwen to follow her into her chambers where the prying eyes couldn’t watch her and their perked ears couldn’t hear her.

  
Then she broke down. It was instantaneous. As soon as the door shut behind them the grief of her father’s passing returned as had the stress of being thrust into becoming Queen, the scrutiny of the nobles, and how she was being stomped over in her own council room. She thought she could cope but she was not given enough time, she hadn’t given herself enough time and now she felt lost. Gwen had said nothing and just held her as Mithian poured her emotions out to the Queen of Camelot.

  
Gwen had stayed for the rest of that week sitting in council and making sure Mithian had a voice and that the council members knew their place. It was weird situation she found herself in as she became close friends with the woman who stole her betrothed but then she realised that it was Mithian doing the stealing. She had tried to apologise for it but Gwen would hear nothing of it and had blamed the entire thing on her own mistakes due to some meddling from Morgana. The servant turned Queen was just happy that Merlin was there to set Arthur straight.

  
Merlin…

  
He was a strange one. A servant she thought at first glance but her misjudgement was well learned soon enough as Merlin and Arthur’s relationship became more and more apparent. A friend she then thought. A break in propriety that Mithian thought the King had deserved but she was proved wrong again. They were brothers. Always looking out for each other and now everyone knew how long Merlin had really been protecting Arthur and the entirety of Albion.

  
The Queen of Nemeth was actually invited by the King and Queen of Camelot to attend Merlin’s anniversary of birth. She knew it to be a strategy since she knew that other royals and nobles had been invited, it was a way for them to meet the first court sorcerer in Albion for twenty years.

  
It had taken her a while to find a suitable gift. She did not want to gift him with a weapon, for he was a weapon in of himself and from what she had heard he was not too good with one either. Giving him clothes felt like an insult to his choosing of dress plus she liked his uniqueness. She hoped Merlin had not changed his attire. Fortunately, a trip to the library archives found the best gift she had at her disposal for someone such as him.

  
Mithian and her entourage of knights and a few choice advisors had arrived last but not late. She would not be late for something like this. It was also an advantage to her as a newly crowned Queen she would have to show what kind of Queen she was and how she would rule. A gathering of this many royals and nobles would give her a chance to make small talk and goad them in to visiting Nemeth so she may negotiate and strengthen terms of certain treaties she had with the other kingdoms.

  
Currently, Mithian was talking to Queen Annis of Caerleon. She admired her greatly for her fierceness and strength in the council rooms and during negotiations. Her late father had told her of how during negotiations with the King of Caerleon the Queen had objected and intervened several times to make sure their people gained as much as the people of Nemeth. Annis was someone who Mithian wished to develop a strong relationship with.

  
“So where is the Court Sorcerer then Mithian?” There was a lull in their conversation as they took a quick look around respectively and they could not see hide or hair of the man. “You’d think he would turn up to his own anniversary”

  
“I am sure he is probably working.” The older Queen gave her a confused look. “He is the first Court Sorcerer in twenty years in any kingdom in Albion. There are probably so many things he can do now that the ban on magic has lifted.”

  
“It has been a year Mithian.” Annis replied with a sigh and she simply laughed quietly.

  
“And he must recover twenty years of magical history. He has probably forgotten. I remember him being somewhat of a scatter brain when I met him last.” Mithian grinned wistfully as she thought back to their last two encounters. They hadn’t started out as the best of friends but after meeting him a second time they became a little closer.

  
“I hear he is strangely endearing. Maybe he may grab the attentions of some of the noble women here who simply won’t stop badgering in my ear.” She had to cover her mouth to stop herself from laughing so hard as the Queen’s bluntness.

  
Before she had chance to reply she heard a shout that was all too familiar to her resound through the castle.

  
“MERLIN!” Unmistakeably, it was the King of Camelot.

  
“Gwaine run!” That was definitely Merlin she thought amusingly.

  
Mithian chanced a glance over at Gwen who was with Princess Elena and she could see Gwen actively sigh as she put her head in her hands. Sometimes she didn’t know how the Queen coped.

  
The doors swung open to reveal the warlock and another knight who must be Gwaine.

  
“How much trouble are we in Gwaine?” Mithian could not suppress her grin at what Merlin and Gwaine could have possibly done.

  
“That depends on whether we’re caught.” She shook her head at their antics before moving closer to where they were. Amusingly, as Gwaine and Merlin went to turn and run they came face to face with Guinevere Pendragon who grabbed Gwaine’s arm but was too slow to catch Merlin.

  
“Merlin a little help here.” Gwaine looked pleadingly but Merlin just smirked and moved slowly backwards.

  
“Sorry Gwaine every all powerful warlock for himself.” He was about to turn when she wrapped a hand around his arm.

  
“I don’t think so oh all powerful one.” He looked shocked and flustered at her movement and she wondered if her interference was welcome.

  
“Oh Mithian not you to.” He pouted and it was definitely not the most adorable thing she had ever seen. “Gwen has corrupted you too.” She smiled at his very convincing solemn face before it broke in to a grin of his own.

  
“Would you mind bringing Merlin here please?” Gwen called to her and she nodded her head as she began to take her hand off his arm. Surprisingly, he stopped her and gave her a small shy smile which reminded her of Merlin when he was just a servant. Uncharacteristically timidly, she brought her hand around his bicep which was shockingly very muscular and he brought his arm out and guided her towards Gwen.

  
“Okay so I guess we’re in this together Gwaine.” Merlin smiled and they saluted both looking as serious as possible as the footsteps of the King became louder and louder.

  
“It has been an honour serving with you Merlin.” At that moment, Arthur thunders through the door soaking wet and bright red hair. Merlin and Gwaine were already on the floor laughing and Mithian allowed a laugh to slip as the rest of the room begin to chuckle.

  
“Merlin fix this now or I swear I’m going make you clean the entire castle floors.” Merlin looked like he was about to say something witty when Arthur added. “No magic allowed.” Merlin got up before muttering a few words and with a glow of his eyes Arthur was dry and his blonde locks were returned to him.

  
Mithian started to clap quietly and the whole room joined in. Merlin gave a much exaggerated bow and looked up at her and winked. Her cheeks heated up as the rest of the hall then went back to their conversations like nothing had happened at all. She would remember it though.

  
The King after checking his hair was now its rightful colour came up to the four of them kissing his wife on the cheek and giving a stern glance to Gwaine and Merlin.

  
“Gwaine go get drunk or something.” Arthur smiled as Gwaine happily sauntered off throwing a wave behind him whilst he strolled towards the Knights of the Round Table. Arthur glanced at Mithian and gave her a brief nod “Queen Mithian it is good to see you again.”

  
“Likewise King Arthur and please call me Mithian.” He politely nodded and turned to Merlin who had inched his way slowly behind Gwen and Mithian thought she heard him say something along the line of “Protect me…” but she couldn’t make it out.

  
“Merlin come out from behind my wife.” Merlin didn’t move and Arthur gave a sigh. “Please, I’m not going to hurt you.” Merlin moved to the side and looked a little like a mouse which is strange considering he was supposed to be the most powerful person to ever live. “All of this to miss your anniversary?” Mithian looked at Merlin who nodded much to her bewilderment. “You’re an idiot.” Arthur brought him in to a hug. “Happy anniversary you cabbage head.”

  
“That’s my word” He said as they pulled away.

  
“And there is no finer word to describe you. Except maybe brother.” He patted his back before taking his Queen’s arm and walking away.

  
Whilst the rest of the people spoke animatedly to each other Merlin and Mithian stayed in silence. Merlin looked as though he was simply taking in the moment and Mithian did not want to ruin it. She went to leave but suddenly an arm looped through hers and she swiftly looked up to see Merlin grinning back down at her.

  
“You didn’t think you could just turn me in and get away with it could you?” He playfully chided as he guided her away from all the crowds waving at the nobles and directing them to a pile of gifts that had been piling up since the celebration had started.

  
“I thought you would simply let it pass.” She retorted amusement clear in her voice.

  
“Ah unfortunately I do not let things slip past me.” Merlin took a deep breath and Mithian felt a lot of emotion through that action alone. “Not anymore.” He breathed out.  
They strolled on to the balcony in comfortable silence and looked out at the stars.

  
“You have come a long way Merlin.” Mithian suddenly said. He took his arm out of hers and leant against the stone with his elbows. He chuckled but it was so sad that it made her heart bleed for him.

  
“I have lost so many in my plight for peace under a united Albion where magic may live free.” She came forward so she stood right by him. “I sometimes wonder if it was worth it.” Mithian had no idea of the toll that Merlin had seemed to have taken during his years in Camelot and if she was as intelligent as her father thought she was then Mithian reckoned that not even Gwen and Arthur knew the extent of damage that Merlin had taken.

  
“We sometimes wonder whether or not our choices, if made differently, would bring a different outcome but to dwell on such things is foolish for you cannot change the past only learn from it so you may change the future.” Merlin turned to face her and she took his large rough hands in her slender ones. She rubbed soothing circles into the back of his hand like her mother used to when she was a little girl. “Do not dwell on the past Merlin. Change your future and make it better for us all, like I believe you can.”

  
Without warning she felt Merlin’s chapped lips smooth out against hers and she did not move at first but as he began to move away, obviously sensing her lack of reciprocation, she clasped her hand around his chin and brought their lips together again. It was slow, gentle and filled with emotion. Merlin pulled away all too quickly but her eyes stayed close taking in the taste of him. It was strawberries definitely. He must like them a lot because they were quite strong in her mouth.

  
“I apologise. I cannot do this to you.”

  
Before she could even ask what he meant he had left and she could here Gwen and Arthur calling out to him as the door shut. Tears threatened to fall as she desperately tried to blink them away.

  
“Mithian?” She plastered on a smile and turned to see Gwen looking at her with much concern. “Are you okay? What happened?” Mithian’s hand came to her mouth as she began to sob. It was just like when Gwen came to visit her in Nemeth she thought as the kind Queen brought Mithian in to a hug.

  
“We kissed.” She managed to choke out.

  
“And?” Gwen placed a hand on each of Mithian’s shoulders so she could make direct eye contact with the recently crowned Queen.

  
“It was beautiful. I felt his emotion in that moment. I felt his magic pulsate through him to me. I cannot even begin to explain how it felt. But…” Mithian shut her eyes tight as more tears began to claw their way through.

  
“But what?” Gwen asked with a soothing tone.

  
“Merlin apologised and said cannot do this to me. I don’t even know what that means.” She took a deep breath and opened her eyes again. “Then he left.”

  
“Arthur and Lancelot have gone to talk to him.” Gwen said sounding hopeful. “I think he does like you but he is scared. As far as I know this is his first sense of true love.”

  
“How can that be?” Mithian turned to see a small smile playing on her lips. “What I mean is umm… he is kind, compassionate and seems like a good man for any of the lower class women.” She tried to clean her stumble up best she could but Mithian knew Gwen would see through it.

  
“I fell under his spell in his first year here.” Gwen suddenly said much to Mithian’s astonishment. “He was so new, unique and real. He said things how they were and his knack for saving people’s lives made him more endearing.” She watched as Gwen took a wistful glance towards the stocks. Amusingly, Mithian imagined Merlin spending a lot of time in them.

  
“What happened?” Mithian questioned softly.

  
“He came back to life after being poisoned and I kissed him. He made no mention of it afterwards and it seemed to me as he was content to stay friends.” Gwen sighed. “Sadly, I think it was always Morgana for whom he pined for. It must have killed him to poison her all those years ago and then to have to kill her last year might have just ripped him apart.”

  
“So he is grieving for a woman he used to love, poisoned thus turning her evil?” Mithian couldn’t help but feel a little irritated that Merlin was grieving over someone who turned evil nine years ago and had tried to kill him multiple times.

  
“No he isn’t grieving for Morgana. He is piecing back his life after fighting a ten year long war that has only just ended.” Gwen then turned back to her with a piercing look in her eye. “He is a war veteran who grew from a boy just trying to do the right thing in to a man who fought tooth and nail for what he believed in.” Mithian couldn’t quite see Merlin as a war veteran but she knew that one look in to his eyes would tell her everything.

  
“But why would this stop him from wanting to be with me? Is it me? Am I not right for him?” All these questions made her more and more unsure of herself and she wondered if she should spare herself the hurt and just leave tomorrow instead of the week she planned to stay.

  
“It wouldn’t. It most definitely isn’t you and I think you may just be his perfect match.” Gwen took Mithian over to the balcony and spoke softly too her. “Merlin is a complicated person, much more complex than anyone would think at first glance. Like I said he is a war veteran and war veterans only know war but Merlin has been fighting this war very differently. He fights in the shadows away from his friends taking on whatever evil comes his way alone because that was how he had to do it. I think he is protecting you. Not allowing you to come close to him because he cares.”

  
“But he seems perfectly at home with Arthur, the knights and you. Why not me?” Mithian sounded pitiful and she inwardly berated herself for sounding so weak. She had not been without Merlin and she will not be because she thought she could be with him.

  
“That is a lot simpler. He is frightened of rejection from you which I think means his feelings run a lot deeper than I thought they did.” Mithian looked up at that and saw another smile playing on Gwen’s face.

  
“You knew he had feelings for me?” Mithian couldn’t believe it.

  
“Of course. He was excited to see you tonight, I know Merlin said that he didn’t come because he wanted to miss his anniversary but I think he was just scared to talk to you.” She chuckled lightly.

  
It was astounding how perceptive, wise and intelligent the Queen of Camelot was. Mithian had not seen that angle at all but she supposed that only someone such as Gwen who has been close with Merlin since the beginning would know so much about him.

  
“What do I do?” Mithian knew she sounded like a child but she needed to feel his lips against hers again, she needed him against her. She just needed him.

  
“You accompany me for a ride tomorrow so I can grovel for your forgiveness at my frankly stupid actions.” They turned to see Merlin, Arthur and Lancelot at the entrance to the balcony.

  
“How do I know you deserve it?” Even though her body demanded that she wrap him up in a searing passionate kiss her mind knew he would have to prove his self worth after what he did.

  
“Because I told you that nothing slips past me only to almost let you slip through my fingers. I told you it doesn’t happen anymore.” Merlin could obviously see that convincing her would be a little more difficult than he had hoped but he turned to Gwen, Arthur and Lancelot smiling optimistically.

  
“Leave us.” Merlin spoke with an authority that annoyingly made him so much more endearing than before. “Gwen was right. I care about you a lot more than someone should after meeting someone only twice and although I disagree with the whole war veteran theory it was easier when everyone wasn’t so close to me. When it was me against every magical threat and evil sorcerer, it was just easier.” There it was. That look in his eye that showed everything: his pain, anger, hurt, despair and his terrible amount of loss.  
“Were you eavesdropping?” Just like that the grinning child came back.

  
“I may have heard a few words here and there.” She raised her eyebrow at him. “Okay as soon as I left the room I walked straight back through only to find you and Gwen talking and I didn’t want to interrupt so I listened. Yes, by the way.”

  
“Yes what?” Mithian asked.

  
“I am terrified of rejection.” She didn’t know what it was about the people of Camelot, their gazes seemed so much more intense. Merlin’s was no exception in fact his was probably the most intense she had ever witnessed.

  
“Okay I will ride with you tomorrow.” His grin widened dramatically and it made Mithian smile just to see him happy.

  
“Meet me by the gates after breakfast.” Merlin was about to turn and leave when he turned back on his heel to give her a chaste kiss before leaving to return to the celebration.

  
Mithian stood there with her finger slowly tracing her lip as she tried to hold on to the feeling once more only to realise that she needed more. She looked in to the celebrations to see Gwen smiling at her and gesturing her to come over.

  
Mithian turned to look for Merlin only to see him chatting with Annis.

  
Was he juggling? He was a strange one she thought.

* * *

  
The next day, Mithian woke up grinning as she realised she would be spending the day with Merlin. A sudden gasp arose as she realised that she had not given Merlin his gift, she would have to give it to him this morning then.

  
Just then a maid came in with her breakfast and Mithian quickly asked her if she could get her horse from the stables to which she quickly complied and left with soft smile on her features.

  
After finishing breakfast she put on her riding gear which consisted of a white tunic and trousers as well as a black cloak. She usually didn’t bother with make up or doing her hair but today Gwen had visited her and insisted she did so and no one argued with the Queen, not even the King.

  
Briskly, she trotted through the town and saw another figure on a horse which could be no one but Merlin waiting at the gate.

  
When Merlin heard her arrive he turned to greet her on his horse.

  
“Good morning your majesty you look wonderful as always.” He breathed in slightly and chuckled. “Hm strawberries, how perceptive of you.” He really was amazing sometimes. “You taste of fine wine by the way.” She blushed furiously as he trotted in front of her and Mithian could do nothing but follow.

  
“So where are you taking me?” Mithian enquired desperately needing to know where he would take her.

  
“Well, I could tell you but I believe that would ruin the surprise.” She pouted at his mysteriousness but she couldn’t help but love it anyway.

  
“Not even a clue.” Mithian pleaded.

  
“One clue.” He seemed to dwell on it for a moment before smiling. “I’m going to take you to the birthplace of magic itself.”

  
“That is oddly romantic. A bit like you.” Mithian teased only to laugh as Merlin clutched at his heart.

  
“Are you calling me odd your highness?” Merlin batted his eyes at her in a way that could only make him look adorable.

  
“Yes but I find it extremely attractive.” Mithian caught him off guard as she laughed when heat ran to the tips of his ears.

  
“Come on lets pick up some speed.” They galloped down the dirt path until Merlin strayed from it gesturing for Mithian to follow him through the trees until they came to a small cave.

  
“Is this it?” She questioned not seeing much else other than a dank and damp cave.

  
“Yep, come on.” Merlin took her hand in his and she instinctively laced their hands together. They stepped inside and followed the small pathway through the cave as Merlin unhooked a torch he muttered something before a fire sprung to life making her jump. “Its okay, come on.” He tugged on her hand and Mithian followed him down the path until they reached a larger room. “Welcome to the crystal caves, the birthplace of magic itself.”

  
The cave was filled with crystal and each one glowed with an aura that could only be described as magical. They were everywhere; they hung from the ceiling and jutted out from the floor and walls. It was amazing to see.

  
Suddenly, she felt something cold on her chest as arms came around her. It was a necklace and seemingly the cold object was a crystal which was held together by a silver chain. Mithian felt his fingers across her neck as he clasped the necklace and lifted her hair so the necklace would rest on her neck.

  
“The crystal emits a magical signature. My own actually so when you leave it will allow me to contact you telepathically, all you have to do is hold on to the crystal and call my name.” He came around to look at her and she could not be more pleased with his gift. “Try it.”

  
Mithian took hold of the crystal and spoke his name. “Merlin.”

  
_“Yes, beautiful.”_

  
She gasped which told Merlin that Mithian had heard him which was a relief since he wasn’t 100 percent sure that would work.

  
“I still have to give you your anniversary gift.” Mithian intertwined their hands and she sped off dragging him along with her before he could protest.

  
Once they made it outside Mithian ran to her horse and brought out something wrapped in cloth. She handed it to him and Merlin looked between her and the gift before slowly uncovering it.

  
“A spell book.” He breathed.

  
“I know. I didn’t know what else to get you and you probably have loads and know every spell there is anyway and I can always take it back and…” He cut her off as he smacked their lips together in a passionate kiss. Merlin’s arms went to her waist as she threaded her fingers through his ruffled hair. Soon they were all over the place, tongues and teeth whilst all sort of deep lustful moans escaped from both of them. Unfortunately the had to pull away for air. “Wow.”

  
“I love it.” He simply said before climbing back on to his horse and slipping the spell book in to his saddle bag. “We better get back.”

  
“Why?” Mithian peered at him with confusion.

  
“Aren’t you leaving today like the rest of them?”

  
“No, I’m here all week.” He grinned and jumped off of his horse only to pick her up bridal style and walk back in to the cave. “Why are we going back in?”

  
“We’re going to need some privacy.”


End file.
